A day and a half to go before surgery. I feel fine. I’ve never felt sick. I feel tired, but that could be because I don’t sleep well.
I’ve had bad teeth since I was a kid. We never had good medical or dental care. It seemed an afterthought for my parents, so dental care was something I have been afraid of. I never learned how to take care of my teeth. I really never went to the doctors until I was an adult. I never went to the dentist out of fear.
I was a smoker. When I was young and felt invincible. I always had sinus and upper respiratory issues. Smoking aggravated them.I gave up smoking 8 years ago. I started getting better and better medical care, but not dental.
My health was a bit sketchy. I needed to have some serious health issues taken care of. The problem? Being poor and living in a red state. 3 years ago. we moved to Minnesota.I started getting great health care with Mayo. but I still did not have dental care.
Now I have oral and lymph cancer. Luckily, the cancer is not below my neck. The doctors consider neck and head cancers to be “curable” vs. lower cancers which are
“treatable”. I’ll have major surgery to have my tumors removed, and a portion of my jaw removed and reconstructed from a bone from my leg. Is it because I smoked for years? Good chance. Doctors tell me not to blame myself. I didn’t know. I really didn’t. I am so scared.
Sorry if I am repetitive, but this is what is on my mind. I’m trying to stay positive. No blame. Focus on the future and my family.
We have kind and generous neighbors who are taking the time to take care of our cats while I’m at Mayo. Another will water the garden and take the garbage cans back to the back of the house. I am thankful for the help.
I’m very thankful for Bruce and the family that cares for me. I am thankful for the awesome team of doctors and everyone who will be there for me.
I continue as always … eyes forward.
2 thoughts on “The Countdown Continues”
Right here with you. You are the strongest person facing a great scary thing. You have many many people who love you and are behind you. This is a huge step to becoming…more fabulous. You got this.
Holding you in my thoughts. I know it is easy to blame ourselves, but blame has no place in the healing process. Take care.
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